Reciprocity

There are some places where the whole reciprocation thing is necessary. Sometimes, it's not exactly reciprocation, as it is a "Hey, get off your butt and do this for me" kind of thing. In jobs, you get fired if you don't do what you're told. If you do, though, then generally you're rewarded somehow or another.

In true reciprocation, though, nothing is forced. It's a mutual agreement stating that if you do this for me, I'll do this for you. In a relationship, though, it's normally associated with physical/sexual favors. However, there's the rare case of emotional reciprocity. In this case, any sort of mutual agreement means absolutely nothing. Seeing how one's feelings are reciprocated is near impossible. It's not like you can just waltz up to a person and say "How much do you like me?" If that's how it worked, I'd be set for life.

As of now, my situation's complicated. I'm not going to go into details, but in short, it's tough, okay? We started out as friends, and have become more over time. I really like him, but I can't just say "Hey, on a scale of 1 to 20, how much do you like me?" Like myself, he doesn't normally wear his emotions on his sleeve. Feelings can be hidden and shoved into the back of one's mind. Crappy situations can be hurdled easily, because the initial wall was never let down. (the whole metaphoric-emotional wall dealio)

After reviewing my encounters with guys, I'd say that I've gotten hurt more than I should. However, that would be a repeat of a previous post, more or less. So basically, I've recently learned that if I get hurt, I get hurt. There's no limit to how much I can love, so I'll just keep dishing out as much as I see fit. Yeah, I'm not going to be stupid and just go out and get hurt all the time... But I've started dropping my "wall" more often. So far, I trust this guy, and it seems like things are going good.

Are they going to stay that way? I can't tell how much I'm liked, nor am I about to ask. Reciprocity isn't always a sort of mutual agreement. Emotional reciprocity is ALWAYS voluntary, but I'd still like to know how things are going to pan out.