Well, it's been like, eight or nine months since I've been in a real relationship. All of them have been well, short, 'let's screw around' kind of things. I'll be completely honest, I've used a fair share of guys in my time. However, the blame should NOT be placed on my shoulders. I've used a couple...
But then, a couple more have used ME. And I'm not talking used as in "let's have sex and then never talk again" kind of used. I'm talking about the "I'm going to lead you on like you mean something, and then drop you like a hot potato" kind of used. One of these times started occurring mid-first semester. We were getting along great, time passed, and I even spent the night at his dorm (it was an innocent night) because I was too tired to drive home. A week or so later, he goes home to see his family--for Thanksgiving, maybe--and then he comes home... "attached." He came home with a girlfriend, and I asked what I had been. Direct quote: "You were girlfriend status."
HONESTLY. This hurt bad enough, but the sad thing is that there were others who screwed me over, too. If their intentions were made clear, I would have been better off. However, because of some break in communication, I was not told that I was only with person-x because of my body. So, in being led on, I've been hurt multiple times over the past eight/nine months. Not very good statistics, as it were.
So, this time around, I want to know. At the same time, I want to find out and I don't. I've gotten mixed signals... And both contradict. I don't want to be hurt again... That much can be left unsaid, I guess. Nobody wants to be hurt. However, I'm more than willing to take the chance. If I get hurt, I get hurt.
Life will go on, eventually.
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