WTF MEDICINE

So, if we're friends on Facebook, you probably already know that my toe's RIDIC messed up. Kind of.

My neighbor in the dorms came back schwasted on Thursday night, and I got up from doing homework to help put her to bed, because that's generally how it goes when she comes back on Thursdays. Instead of her getting into bed though, she ended up pushing me out of the way (kind of) so that she could leave and go give a friend on 1st floor a hug. Um, yeah. When yanking open the door, she had NO CLUE where my feet were. Um, holy crap ouch. My first toe was jammed underneath the super heavy dorm door, whereas my toenail was, um, NOT. My toenail was ripped upwards, and the skin under my nail went with it.

Luckily, one of my other neighbors has a dorm room with their own bathroom in it; it's got a tile floor. So, I went in there to go get it cleaned and what not; I didn't want to bleed all over the place. And I bled all over the place anyway. Thankfully, my friend who lives in this room had a mondo First-Aid Kit, and between the two of us, we got my toe dressed pretty well.

The next day, on Friday, I went to my chemistry lecture because the chemistry building is pretty close to my dorm. However, I skipped math afterwards; I didn't think that I'd be able to walk all the way over to the building I've got math in from the chem. building. Instead, I ended up going to the hospital to see if I could get any pain meds. I went to the actual hospital because my insurance doesn't guarantee to cover student health. H'okay, so, in every hospital for a general visit, you've got to fill out a "why the hell are you here" sheet. So I did. I basically said I'm here to get some pain meds because ibuprofen isn't cutting it and I want to see the proper way to dress my toe.

I sat in the fricking doctor's office for 2 hours. I waited in my room for a very long time, when my doctor finally came in. I told her what had happened, and she was like "oh, we should get that x-rayed, it might be broken." Okay, so, I can see where she might be concerned, but I knew my toe wasn't broken and told her so, multiple times. Apparently, that's not good enough.

After coming back to my room dealio from the x-ray wing, I waited another 20 minutes or so for ms. doctor to come back. Coming into the room with her was a nurse, who said she was going to dress it for me. The first thing the doctor said was "it's not broken." I swear, I could have punched her. Meanwhile, the nurse is applying some Bacitracin to my toe. Um, and then she put a band-aid on it. REALLY, I was pissed. i'm glad that ms. nurse went to school to teach people like me HOW TO PUT BAND-AIDS ON

I asked the doctor if she could prescribe me some pain pills to help take care of the pain so I didn't have to worry about it during the day while I was going to classes.

After 2 hours of sitting in the doctor's office to have them tell me that my toe wasn't broken and then proceeding to put a Band-Aid on it, I left... without any pain medicine.

I mean, honestly. Do you really think that I got my friend schwasted (which is way beyond wasted, if you cared) just knowing that she was going to SLAM my toe under a door that weighs more than I do just so I could get a prescription for pain medicine?

Okay, guys, I'm coming clean. I'm a Vicodin addict. I slammed my own toe under my door just so I could go get some Vicodin. I should apologize to the hospitals for sitting there for two hours, just trying to take advantage of them. And most importantly, I should get myself into a 12-step program. Drugs are bad for me, and I know it.

WAIT A MINUTE, why the hell would I do that? I'm a gimp now; I've been limping since it happened, and it hurts like a bitch to put any pressure on. I've got a pretty large hematoma on the end of my toe, and I can't wear closed-toe shoes. Hell, it hurts to wear socks to keep my feet warm... so I don't. (side effect: constantly cold) something tells me that i'm not a vicodin addict

It's weird, I hate taking simple pain meds for... well... anything. I hate taking ibuprofen, Tylenol, Aspirin, etc. I think it's saying something that I went into the doctor's office to get pain meds. I've got a pretty high pain tolerance. this is saying something

mimicking a friend's recent blog post:
UIHC: friend or foe?

FOE FO SHO